Parents Cruise

Well, I dont know about everyone else, but I am INSANELY jealous of my parents right now being on the cruise. Its so bad that I have been talking with Amy about possibly taking our own cruise, which will probably never happen because there are alot of more important things we can do with $2000 like have a baby, put in a back lawn, put up a fence, fix my cars, blah blah blah.

In reality, I dont truly need a cruise, I just want my house to gently rock back and forth each night and thereby put me to sleep and allow me to have the BEST DANG SLEEP EVER PERIOD. Oh, and if on the rare occasion I do wake up, I need a 24 hour buffet waiting for me so I dont have to rifle through the fridge for 10 minutes only to get frustrated cause I cant find anything good to eat. Also, if someone would just give me a new menu every night at the dinner table and allow me to order anything I want, that would be nice. Make sure that some of the selections are fancy words that no mortal man could possibly pronounce. I would also request that someone come and clean my room and straighten my bed about 2-4 times a day depending on how often I go in there. Then I will need to attend some type of broadway production or something each night just to make sure Im never lacking in being entertained. And just one more thing, if someone would constantly walk around so I can order a Virgin Strawberry Daquiri or a Bloody Mary or a Pina Colada the very second I get thirsty or even think about being thirsty, that would really help. Of course after a long day of all that, Im definitely gonna need a hot tub AND steam room to relax my muscles from all the tension that has been building on such a grueling day.

Yeah, that should about do it. If I could have those simple pleasures of life, then I wouldnt have this crushing need to go on a cruise just to verify that life can actually take a breather. Just a chance FOR ONCE to forget about EVERY SINGLE THING thats important like work, family, church, bills, cars, money, shelter, etc. Cause on a cruise, you can look all your important cares right in the eye and say:

"HEY, WHY DONT YOU GO SIT ON IT AND SPIN FOR THE NEXT 8 DAYS WHILE I CONCENTRATE ON ME AND ALL THE POSSIBLE WAYS TO OUTRIGHT PAMPER EVERY PASSING THOUGHT OF EVERY LUXURY THAT ONE COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE. THATS RIGHT! IM JUST GONNA CONCENTRATE SOLELY ON ME AND THE GENTLY ROCKING BOAT WHILE 10,000 OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST WAITING AROUND EVERY CORNER AND CAREFULLY WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE TO MAKE DANG SURE THAT NOT A SINGLE WANT, NEED OR CARE THREATENS TO INVADE MY 8 DAYS OF COMPLETE SELF-INDULGENCE."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anyway, Im gonna go spend the next 10 minutes looking for food in the fridge and then go to bed hungry and frustrated.